Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
One of my greatest inspirations in life is poetry.Desiderata by Max Ehrmann has always instilled a sense of temporal continuity for me, but at the same time; has also provided an optimism in looking at the, often recurring issues in the current world. The words documented by Ehrmann, in my opinion - offer the same resonance in 2019, and that to me is incredibly poignant and indicative of its continued relevance in the poetic sphere.
My final project seeks to encapsulate the nature of modernity but also contrast this with the continued struggles of the past, particularly in relation to the pursuit of war and peace. This past week has been trying in terms of creative progress, but I still feel this project and the messages within the dialogue are worth expressing and encompass important issues which are still present today.Optimism for positive change is also a heavily influenced point within my proposed narrative, and I feel this poem by Ehrmann effectively embodies the characteristics and mood I wish to present in my final piece. Despite the poems mention of the negatives of life, it still ends on a positive, optimistic note - and suggests that this is the only way forward, and the most productive way to approach our world. I believe that capturing these messages within the plot trajectory via the means of satire will provide the most powerful representation of these feelings as I feel that approaching difficult issues in a more 'light-hearted' way is the most effective and resonant way of presenting difficult and challenging conversations and social issues.
I have attached the second draft of my script below (cant attach word documents unfortunately,) and am currently working on a variation of the first script - this time, omitting elements of breaking the fourth wall and reinforcing and reminding the audience of cinematic conventions. I had originally included these elements as a means of heightening the experimental value, and also tying in the notion of satire further. I think it would be effective not only to present a satirical plot, but also represent satire through the actual aesthetics of the film, and content and subsequent sub-text of the dialogue.
SCRIPT:
And so on and so force:
Intertitles in the format of the introduction of Star-Wars appear on screen.
It is a civil war.
It is a period of political and social uncertainty.
Rebel forces from a hidden base have won their first victory against Naturalresourcea and have enslaved a large group of the native population.
During this epic space conquest, spies from Goldminea have managed to invade the less developed planet, and have captured, enslaved and killed many of the citizens of Naturalresourcea.
With these mineral compounds from Naturalresourcea, Goldminea are completing the Empire’s ultimate weapon - the Life Moon, an armoured space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Why don’t Goldminea use their own minerals, you ask? Why not indeed - Galactic capitalism, is your answer.
The citizens of Naturalresourcea now live in chaos and fear, and are rallying an army to defeat the tyrants of Goldminea and restore freedom to their planet and our Galaxy…
Or so we thought...
(Epic music cuts)
SCENE ONE: Int. Flat. Steve and Owen are pacing having just heard the news-report of an alien invasion in Glasgow, the flat appears to be a container for the remnants of a student party, and both Steve and Owen appear dishevelled and hungover. Steve is standing ogling at Owen, who is playing tetris on his phone and also exclaiming the BBC twitter updates.
Intertitle reads: This very second
Steve and Owen: FUUUUUCK.
Cut.
SCENE TWO: Int. Conspiracy theory Dave unlocks a briefcase which has a telescope, what appears to be hand drawn maps and symbols and lives in what appears to be a WW2 bunker. He is surrounded in tinned food and fictional books by L. Ron Hubbard. He whimpers in the corner listening to the news on a radio that looks as if it’s from the 50’s. Steve and Owen dramatically swing the door open.
Both: DAVE
Owen: Shit he doesn’t answer unless you call him by his youtube channel
BOTH: CONSPIRACY THEORY DAVE 2006
CTDAVE: THEY’RE COMING!! (runs past them hysterically - both Steve and Owen stare at each other in disbelief, but also in a way that suggests this is typical, despite the circumstances)
Cut.
SCENE THREE: INT: Living room.
Owen: Well if he’s fuckin panickin’ i’m fuckin panickin’
Steve: We can’t all be fuckin panicking- get off your fucking phone, what the fuck - DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON HERE? I need to call my family
Owen: Phone lines are out.
Steve: (Paces and then stops and looks at Owen incredulously) You’re snapchatting this.
Owen: Mems mate, £10 it’ll be funny one day.
Steve: (Slaps phone out his hand) Prick.
CTDave: The apocalypse. It’s upon us. (Falls to his knees and starts blessing the cross)
Steve: (inpatient) I need to see my family, I can’t just stay here with you two. (Pause) (Slaps Dave on the head) you’re not even religious mate, off your fucking knees.
CTDave: (shrieks) They’re watching us you know.
Steve: Don’t talk shi-
Owen: He’s right, man. All security systems, media outlets and technology (all look at their webcams) have been hacked and are being surveyed. The news will be on temporary lockdown. Remain indoors. Oh and they’ve got mad lazors, so you’ll probably die if you go outside. Eyyy my 4G’s back…
Steve: Right FUCK this, we need a plan - DAVE. Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006, (Dave remains crouched on the floor rambling in Latin) FUCKING DAVE.. (attempting patience, but infuriated) you know these guys, what do we do? Come on, what would you tell all those wee arseholes all youtube to do? hmm?
Owen: (taking no notice of Steve and Dave) Now it’s gone.
Dave shrieks runs out the room.
Cut.
SCENE FOUR: INT. Dave’s room. Dave is frantically rifling through boxes upon boxes of papers.
Owen: All the gear, no idea. (Steve and Owen both laugh)
CTDave: The END IS COMING.
CTDave runs out the room carrying a box.
Cut.
SCENE FIVE: INT. Living room.
Steve and Owen follow CTDave back through to see him unpacking a box of what appear to be children’s toys.
Steve: What’s that?
CTDave: Survival. (pulls out a slingshot and a packet of drawing pins)
Steve and Owen look at each other: Yeah all right.
SCENE SIX: Cut to montage sequence replicating Home Alone setting the traps sequence.
SCENE SEVEN: 10 minutes later. INT. Living room. Owen sits on the couch staring at his phone, Dave is crouched in a corner with a telescope pointed through the blinds, rambling about the cosmos but also terrified by every movement - he continuously runs and hides behind objects in the flat. Steve paces, irritated.
Steve: Right, I’m not fucking doing this.
Owen: Oh, he can’t handle half an hour without Netflix? (tries to involve Dave in joust at Steve, but Dave is still clutching his home-made crucifix)
Steve: (Shouting in Owen’s face) Will you shut the fuck up, you utter gobshite. You’re the arsehole that’s sitting glued to your fucking phone, playing...are you playing fucking tetris (they wrestle for the phone) while there’s an ongoing fucking-
CTDave: apocalypse.
Steve: YES CONSPIRACY THEORY DAVE 2006, THANK YOU - AN APOCALYPSE HITTING GLASGOW, (Scuffle ends and Owen sits on phone) Know what, I’m out of here, sort yourselves.
Owen: Your ears painted on? LAZORS (Flashes lazor pen at Steve)… and you’re not leaving me here with him so if you’re going to Liz’s, I’m coming to Liz’s.
CTDave: YOU CAN’T LEAVE.
Steve: (infuriated) Mate, I need to check on my family. (Dave still appears petrified, holding his homemade crucifix)
CTDave: Then I’m coming with you, but we cannot go like this.
Owen: What, need to sort your hair? Fucking idi-
CTDave: (Emphatically) Weapons!
Cut.
SCENE EIGHT: EXT. Steve, Owen and CTDave are seen sneaking out the front door with a slingshot, a water gun, a baseball bat and a sock with soap in it.
Owen: Oh it’s fuckin baltic out here innit should’ve worn my snood.
(Pause)
Steve glares, CTDave runs ahead with no prior warning.
SCENE NINE: Montage sequence in the style of Edgar Wright, CTDave is still holding his home made crucifix, but is also now armed with a slingshot. Owen wields a sock with soap bars inside, and Steve has what appears to be a children’s water-gun and the additional help of a baseball bat. Hyper-adventure style combat in this sequence.
Cut. SCENE TEN: EXT. Looking onto the park.
Steve: My mum lives the other side of Glasgow Green. Let’s go. Steve and Owen run off. Followed by CTDave’s panting as he enters the frame, he directly looks to the camera and shakes his head.
Cut.
SCENE TEN: EXT. Glasgow Green. Steve and Owen appear terrified as they’ve just come face on with the aliens. Dave catches up, just in time to see them and instantly try to turn around and run off, only to trip over his own laces.
(Pause.)
Steve: Fucking first impression on earth is that dickhead, I’d kill us too.
Owen: GET TO THE CHOPPER -
Steve, Owen and CTDave run towards an old 70’s chopper, time lapse of them cycling back to the flat and getting upstairs. Steve waits with his back to the wall at the door, holding a baseball bat.
(Pause.)
The door opens, the alien appears and forces Steve into the living room.
Steve: All those fucking traps and you didn’t lock the front fucking door? (Steve commando rolls towards Owen and CTDave)
Alien: (chair spins round but nobody is visible) SILENCE. We have been watching you the entire time anyway, dick head.
Owen: Jesus wept I’ve shat myself. (Dave tries to step backwards and once again trips over his shoe lace)
Steve: Did he just call me a dickhead? (Perplexed as he cannot see anyone, but can hear them and feel them)
Alien: BRIAN. JANICE. Take these aliens to the ship.
Steve: Ship?
Owen: I don’t see a ship (Turning round looking out windows) - pretty shite ship if you canny even see it. Also, Brian? Janice? You’re having me on -Ouch!
(Owen appears to have his ear twisted by an invisible force)
Alien: Your tiny alien eyes are far inferior than that of ours, you see what you want to see and ignore what you do not like to confess.
Steve: That’s deep. Wait, if we’re aliens - what does that make you?
Alien: We are all alien until we are discovered by each-other.
Steve: That’s deep again.
Alien: And for that, we will enslave you. BRIAN. JANICE. Unfortunately, their time-keeping has massive room for improvement.
Steve and Owen fall to their knees as if forced by an invisible power.
Steve: Wait, what the fuck?
Owen: (Pained) our tiny alien eyes are far inferior, we see what we want to see-
(Owen falls forward as if being forced again)
Owen: Mate, they’re gonna kill us-
Alien: No shit, sherlock (laughs)
Steve: (Struggles) WAIT - turns to Dave, (Dave still holding his homemade crucifix and rambling gibberish) HE KNEW YOU WERE COMING. HE KNOWS ABOUT THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM AND THE APOCALYPSE COMING.
(Pause)
Alien: That’s impossible, earthlings. The universe called, we’re missing our idiots. (Laughs again)
Steve: No wait, he did. He loves you. Knows all about you. Wishes he was one of you, always trying to watch you.
Alien: These one’s talk a lot, maybe we should just kill them instead. info@markandersonphotography.co.uk
Owen: (Mimics Steve’s speech out of terror) Wishes he was one of you, absolutely. Take him, we’re useless. (whimpers)
Alien: Take them all.
CTDave screams something utterly nonsensical and crazy. Steve and Owen look at Dave then each other, and gulp in fear. Melodramatically looking into each other’s eyes, 80’s power-ballad music appears in the background - they say they love each other as if they know this is the end.
The Alien then screams back something utterly nonsensical and crazy.
Alien: He knew we were coming.
Suddenly, it appears Steve and Owen have been relinquished from the invisible force.
Alien: You know the super secret galactic call of the Naturalresourceans Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006. (Pause) I applaud you earthling. You are far superior to the average Intelligence Quotient for Scotland, which - by the way according to Google is 97. Lowest in the UK. Easiest to enslave, quite appalling actually considering you at one point, you people invented economics, the television and the steam-engine. You’re also known for being, how do you put it - bat shit crazy, ginger, alcoholic, ‘roasters’ as I believe you refer to the phenomenon, yourselves.
Owen: Eyy steady on (falls to the ground)
Steve nudges CTDave who is in awe, and still wielding the homemade crucifix. Steve kicks CTDave.
CTDave: What do you want with us, here on earth?... other than to enslave us for our stupidity?
Alien: (laughs) No, you are different Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006, I have watched you on Youtube, but I didn’t want to show my hand too soon. Your friends are stupid, you are above the average in this, what do you call it - shite hole.
Steve: OI, DINNY YOU CALL GLASGOW A SHITEHOLE (Pained, falls to ground matching Owen)
Alien: SILENCE, BAWBAG. (everyone gasps) Yes, impressive isn’t it - we adapt very easily to dialects although I have to say, yours is definitively the hardest to grasp of the entire universe that I have experienced in my 20billion years existence.
Owen: 20 billion years?
Alien: Yes, we find that bit in the Holy Books funny, too. To answer your question, Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006; we have come here, as we too were invaded by a larger, infinitely more powerful, affluent and intelligent planet - the Goldmineans of Goldminea. They have ravaged Naturalresourcea, soon enough; all that will be left is dust once they have destroyed us in the name of their own greed.
Owen: Why can’t we just be neighbours then, rather than slaves? There are some decent first time buyer- (pained)
Steve: Which Holy Book? Technically there are three main-
Alien: Yes, wouldn’t bother reading them all they’re pretty much the same. We will return to Naturalresourcea with your idiot race, control your brains - which shouldn’t be difficult since your own media and government does it anyway, and take back control of our planet, nourishing it back to health and preserving it’s life for as long as we can.
CTDave: I knew it.
Alien: You know a lot, Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006, and you were right - we have watched you all along, living your sad little entertainment box lives. It’s like that shite show you have - Big Brother but any time, anywhere, anything we can’t, we can tune right into.
Everyone gulps. (Pause).
Alien: Your government also does that for us, you humans make surveillance on yourselves so easy. You allow us so much knowledge into your tiny pathetic lives, that we have a whole department to filter out pictures of your ‘dinner’ and dull tweets about someone in your office. Although we do enjoy meme culture, that has been an asset to the Galaxy in these despairing times. You have become easily coerced, and easily blindsided of the real problems in life, you have no pride, no desire to sustain your home. You prioritise greed and detrimental levels of comfort, you want more than the planet can provide. (Laughs) The perfect slaves.
Steve: Okay but despite all-(pained as if being prodded with something) Exclaims: WE’RE NOT THAT DIFFERENT AFTER ALL. (Appears to be freed of grip) You want peace for your planet, we want peace for ours. You want to kick fuck out of Goldminea, we want to kick fuck out them too, but just - not as part of some fucking slave army.
(Pause)
Alien: Kick fuck out of? This is one I cannot compute - BRIAN. JANICE.
Steve: Look, (dramatic music) YOU CAN TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT YOU’LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM. (Pause)
Alien: Nobody said we would take your lives, but yes - we will take your false concept of freedom and ‘kick fuck out it’
Steve: how will… worl- galactic peace ever be restored if we continue invading and enslaving each other, killing and fucking shit up. Look, Mr-
Alien: Vader.
(Pause)
Steve and Owen look at camera: Surely not.
(dramatic music returns)
Steve: Mr Vader, we want what you want. We want to protect the land we live on, and our families who love us and we love them. We want peace too, and we’ve seen chaos on earth too, seems like the 2000’s hit there’s been a lot of it, but there always was before too - well, that’s what my gran Jean says. (Pause) But if you enslave us, well in about….50,000 centuries we’re gonna build a wee spaceship, and we’re gonna fly to Naturalresourcea… and we’re gonna have your arses for it, and we’ll be back at square one.
Alien: Actually your tiny alien brains have stopped developing, your knowledge of trivial nonsense grows approximately every six months but your general production has been greatly depreciated by your absorption in yourselves, selfies, reality tv and social media. We take this as an indication that if you continue destroying your planet and behaving like, what do you call it here again? Ah yes - fannies, you will never reach the technological stage high enough to even see our spaceships. But yes, you are right - we are more similar than we had thought and now this is awkward.
(Pause)
Owen, Steve and CTDave look at each other.
Alien: (sighs) I cannot lie, you have deeply touched me Conspiracy Theory Dave 2006 and your insubordinate earthling companions.
Owen: I’ll bet he has. (laughs and then yelps) Couldn’t help it.
Steve: So will you let us go-
Alien: Yes. We shall.
Steve, Owen and CTDave: What?!
Shocked but in great relief.
Alien: And we shall live among you.
Steve and Owen: (Terror) Oh. Er. Right.
CTDave appears elated and for the first time drops his homemade crucifix
CTDave: I’ll pull out the futon!
Cut.
SCENE ELEVEN: Montage sequence of aliens at house party. Beer pong, keggs, red cups parody.
SCENE TWELVE: EXT. Alien and Steve are speaking outside.
Alien: Steve (slurring) you have really proved me wrong, earthling Steve.
Steve: Don’t worry about it mate, when I first met Owen he glassed me in a Wetherspoons and we’ve been best mates since. Oh, and also - you can just call me Steve… Mr Vader.
Alien: (burps) I must admit to you, I lied at the beginning. (Pause, burps) You’re not actually as stupid as you look or as Google said you were, and you can see me. (Pause) I have a magic alien switch, I’ve been using it to fuck with you (slurs and laughs)
Steve: Fuck off, so this entire time, all that 60’s sci-fi shit, it was just you ‘fucking with us’? Show me then, you prick. Bet you’re ugly as fuck.
Alien appears in the most stereotypical alien costume.
Steve: Shit, you actually look like that?
Cut.
SCENE THIRTEEN. there is a thud and Steve wakes up and wanders through to find Owen on his phone, playing tetris and the Aliens gone. Steve checks outside and sees the Alien, he shouts from the window to him:
Steve: Oi prick, where you going?
Alien: We must leave you now, friend. The sesh has been real - but like I said - you’re not as stupid as we or Google thought, so we’ve done a bit of stalking on the Pacificians, they seem very easy to invade. Goodbye, Steve, you prick.
Steve: Wait, what about all we talked about? What about being the bigger person, all that-
Alien: Hasta La Vista, Babyyy- Voice fades.
Steve: WHAT ABOUT THE FACT WE’RE NOT THAT DIFFERENT AFTER ALL?
Looks directly at the camera - what the fuck was that?
Blackout. End.